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About Literature / Hobbyist Jade HardmanFemale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
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It was a winter’s night; the wind was howling and rain was falling to the ground in great torrents. The trees were bent almost double and their branches were whipping around, as though battling some unseen force.
I remember very clearly, the feeling of the rain’s harsh pricks as it stung my face and the wind in my hair, as it pulled it this way and that. The sheer force of the weather took my breath away: it was impossible to speak. I had to sign to my companions that we needed to stop, take shelter somewhere, anywhere.
When we had finally got a fire going, in a small sheltered alcove we found, we all sat down and began peeling off our soaked clothing. We replaced our wet, icy jackets with new, warm blankets. Once this was done, and we were all settled, I found a map and began studying it by the flickering light of the fire. We needed to go as fast as we could to reach our destination, but the weather was making it nearly impossible to stay on course: already, we had deviated away from the path. If we weren’t careful, we were going to get hopelessly lost.
“Alyse, put that away. You’re only going to worry yourself.” My boyfriend, Evan, was walking quietly towards me. I looked up and smiled.
“I know, but I must learn our route off by heart. What if the map gets lost? I need to do this Evan.” Despite his concern, I wasn’t going to let him dissuade me from doing this. I needed to protect my family-at all costs. When we reached the haven-then I could sleep. Until then, I would do everything it took to get there safely.
He bent down and tilted my head up so I could do nothing but look into his piercing blue eyes.
“Alyse, come on baby, come to bed. We can look at the map in the morning. You need to sleep.” He caressed the dark circles under my eyes with his thumb. Now that he mentioned it, I realised I was exhausted. I hadn’t slept properly since we had begun this journey the day before. It seemed like years since I was living with my parents, in a small cosy cottage, going for long walks with my boyfriend, hand-in-hand, laughing and smiling. When was the last time I had laughed?
You broke my heart,
over and over.

You didn’t care
one little bit.
You left me hanging
out to dry,
you didn’t realise
The pain you caused.

For this I thank you-
you made me strong,
you built me up,
but I haven’t fallen.

You saved me from myself,
yet you destroyed me.
Ripped me apart,
It always hits when you are least expecting it. Slams into you like a tidal wave and leaves you floundering, gasping for breath. Your mind shuts down and everything goes black. Where are you and what has happened?
This is what is called Disassociation. It leaves you trapped, locked inside your brain. Your body is not your own and won't follow any of your commands. It is like a shell, somewhere to hide when things get tough.It is also a prison, something that locks you in and traps you, no matter how hard you hammer on the doors.
Some people walk for miles just to escape it, and others (like myself) just curl up into a tight ball and wait for it to pass; pray for it to pass.
Time has no meaning during these episodes, a minute turns into and hour and an hour turns into a day. The concept of time and light and life becomes warped, twisted.
Disassociation wipes your mind clean of everything and your body goes numb. Pain has no meaning and all emotions are devoid.
today, I had the best birthday in a long time. Everyone in my family was present and happy at the same time. We had no arguments and I got the best presents ever. I felt like I actually deserved them this year too :) feeling so happy right now :D


QuietlyMysterious's Profile Picture
Jade Hardman
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
Hi, I'm 17, and I love reading and writing :D I prefer non fiction/action books and I write poetry and some short stories :) music is my coping mechanism, I'm never far from my iPod and my head phones! ;D
I'll check your art out, if you check mine! ;P

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QuietlyMysterious Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for all the support guys!
Thank you all so much for continuing to read my poetry and give me feedback.
I really appreciate it guys.
As you all know, I'm not doing so great, but seeing the support on here has made it easier :)
Illusionna Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2016
Welcome to :iconda-writersrevolution:  Jump right in, enjoy your stay with us, and suggest whatever you would like to help make our group a better place.
pwilliamstein Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015
Thanks for the watch, back at you :):beer:
TheEmotionalPoet Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2015  Student Writer
Hello my dear. :) *hugs* <3
SilhouettedRider Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2015  Professional Writer

Hi! I can only apologise as I am a month late in saying this, but on behalf of Deviant-Writing, I would like to welcome you to our group and thank you for joining! :)


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DeidreAngel Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Student General Artist
thanks for the watch.
Evalayen Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! c: 
Shadowkey392 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015
Thanks for the watch!
ihsans-Art Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thank you very much for Watching ihsans-Art.. :)

I appreciate it very much.. :nod: Hug 

One more thing, you have a very good talent in writing..
SuperWhoBrideWars Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Love your poems! :3

And thank you so much for the watch!! left shark

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